What is Wisdom Wearing This Season?

It's been a down day. I received a letter from a childhood friend and she's all aflutter about the happy ending drama in her life. She ends it begging me to write, that is, hand-write her a letter. I like the idea. It's rather quaint. Please, she begs, describe what's going on in your life! It's a down day because I don't know where or how to begin.

I approach the sink with caution-bonded reluctance. Piles of dishes. Louise, my hypothetical housekeeper, did not come today as she'd promised earlier. So this huge gunky pile is left for me to dispatch to the dishwasher. Were I a purer--and younger--soul, I'd handwash each dish and decoratively arrange it in the drainer. Fortunately, I'm wiser. I'm also wisely noticing that this makes for a down day. Why is it that white gunk on a dish needs more scrubbing than dark gunk?

Sequential is good. It is reassuring. And one likes to feel reassured. A down day isn't sequential and it feels mostly wasted no matter what quantity of effort was applied. This would surely cause my dear motherinlaw to erupt with gung-ho gusto and proclaim that "a day wasted is a life saved." She would also roll her eyes, say "MyGodCarla! How many times must I remind you!!"

Ma Mere. She's awaiting "clearance for flight" in the words of my brother in law. He has a way of describing the moment which, were alzheimers people capable, they would nod and sadly agree. It's all a blur of down days for them--certainly whenever I look from the outside in. And yet, they bring the moment into focus with a smile and a nonsensical clattering of sounds. For instance, I have no idea what Ma Mere is trying to say to me, except she says it with a smile and a reassuring tone of voice.

It no longer matters where to begin. Or end. Or that the substance inbetween is truly substance or even sequential. It is the feel of the moment.