The Slice of Life That...Stings

Hi Hon. A quick note. I decided it's OK. That box that's in the pantry? I'm raiding it.The box that has the leftover beers from your stash. When you were here in January? I'm having 4 of those 6 beers tonight. I'm calling it dinner. McMuffin and GF went to 88 cups and got some dinner earlier. Bob has a slice of venison something puree pate in his dish with the kibble, from Ed and Donna. I'm sure it is like that sprig of parsley next to the prime rib. Bijoux got her ration of generic canned fish.

So I'm sorry about the raid :) Went with H to the oncologist. He examined her. It is massive. 14 centimeters by 11 centimeters. He includes the fat and tissue, saying he just wanted to get an idea. We looked next at the scan on the large monitor. It is in her lymph nodes under her right arm. Thankfully, we're told here, it isn't anywhere else. So far. That is not what we were told last week by someone else. It isn't no longer just a lump. It is now black and smeary within her outline. He mentioned numbers and I tried to write it down: "25-35% patients can can't predict not one of those." I don't understand my notes. She needs an echocardiogram, then a port-cath and blood work. After, the chemo starts. With the 30% discount, my unemployed uninsured H is quoted a price of $36,000 for her doses of chemo. The base rate, we're told. If there aren't enough white cells or red cells, I forget which, she'll need two injections of N-something and Neuplasta. Each one is $4,000. H wonders if it'd be cheaper to go somewhere else outside the country for care. Last week, a symbiot. This week, an invader parasite. This odd cellular structure betwixt the future and a distant beyond. The cost...the cost is numbing.

Driving home we try to fathom our thoughts and feelings. We feel oddly calm, but for the marble rattling around in our hubcaps. Hon, you tell me to be strong. I'm not sure which kind of strong. Is strong also brave?